As a generally upbeat, optimistic person, it’s relatively easy for me to look on the bright side of things. I went into this fertility treatment process self-assured that I am in a healthy state of mind. I readily opened up to family to the extent that I explained the IUI procedure to my 12-year-old boy cousin in front of his dad. I happily share my fertility journey on social media as publicly as I share about impersonal topics like what I ate for breakfast.
I felt positive, yet realistic, knowing that IUI may not work. I was excited that we took the next step. And even throughout the day of the IUI procedure, I actually had fun. John and I laughed a lot.
Then, my pregnancy blood test came back negative.
I learned it’s hard to stay positive once you get a negative.
How am I doing? I’m experiencing a myriad of emotions.
Disappointed that it wasn’t successful.
Apprehensive about telling people how I really feel.
Irritated by comments like ‘Don’t worry. It’ll happen. You can try again.’ because these comments dismiss the fact that I am back to square one after the rough trek it took to get here.
Shocked at how sensitive I’m being even though I know these comments are meant to be supportive.
Discouraged because I don’t want to go through more testing.
Scared that my fertility issue might be more serious.
Guilty because I want to be done trying.
Hey— if you’re a podcast person, and if you haven’t already, check out Matt and Doree’s Eggcellent Adventure. They detail in great length their fertility journey, and share stories and take questions from their listeners about their struggles as well. They did have a successful IVF finally, but they still focus the podcast on fertility. Earlier episodes about their multiple tries are very eye-opening. I recommend it!