Appointment #1

As I was sitting in the half burgundy, half flowery-wallpapered (like a Caboodle) lobby of my reproductive endocrinologist’s office, many thoughts ran through my head. One thought was, ‘Remember when you took the morning after pill because you were so freaked out that you might’ve gotten accidentally pregnant? Welp. That was silly.’

If only younger me knew the chances of me getting pregnant were slim, that would have saved a lot of headache of trying different forms of birth control. I tried the classic, 6th-grade-health-class-taught, and easy-to-purchase-from-anywhere method first, condoms. Then upped my game and went on the pill, followed by the NuvaRing. I felt like that was my first step in being a real, responsible adult. Until I had complications. Thanks, adulting.

As I sat on the beige loveseat that looked like it came from the doctor’s living room, I wondered if I could pee or if I needed to save it for a urine sample. Another thought, for as long as I can remember, I didn’t want to have kids. My mom died of stomach cancer when she was 36 and I was 2 years old. I had this (irrational?) fear of history repeating itself—I would have a baby, die at 36, and my baby would have to fend for itself. Just kidding, shout out to my grandma for raising me.

It took approximately 10 years of being with John for me to start feeling comfortable with the idea of having a baby. I enjoy being DINKS (Dual Income No Kids, like the purple neighbors from Doug on Nickelodeon), but now wouldn’t mind sharing our lives with a mini-me or mini-John. Let’s be real, a mini-John would be adorable.

At my first appointment to start figuring out what the F is up with my fertility, it dawned on me how crazy it is that we’ve intentionally been trying to get pregnant for a year. Who does that?! A positive of not being pregnant is that I’m still able to try a variety of poke bowls and drink beer to my heart’s content. Small wins!

I leave you with an ultrasound of my empty uterus for you to look at while I digest what I learned at my appointment.